Show, Don't Tell
Choose from "jealous" or "foolish" or "fearful." Write about 150 words in multiple paragraphs. Use dialogue. Do not use the word (or any variation) in your writing. Post your writing here before next week's class.
NOTE: Please remember to bring a copy of "Child, Dead, in the Rose Garden" and "A Spoiled Man" to class next Wednesday.
17 comments:
“Did you see the new Iphone Johnny got yesterday?” Fred asked. Fred loved the newest things, always, but he couldn’t often afford to buy them. His phone was a three year old Samsung with a badly scratched screen.
“No. Was it nice?” his wife replied, although she really couldn’t care less about the latest phone. Really, she thought to herself, I wish he would stop talking about stuff. Men!
“Oh, yes. My God, I wish I had one, too. You should see the screen on that thing! Did you know you can use the Internet and that a data plan is only 50 dollars a month?” He looked up to see his wife’s reaction.
But Fred’s wife had gone into the kitchen to make supper and didn’t hear him at all.
“Sheesh!” Fred exclaimed. “I wonder what’s bothering her?” He went back to reading his paper, but was distracted by thoughts of his neighbour’s new car.
—156 words
Along with the bright flash of lightning, the loud crack of thunder immediately rent the sky. “Ah!” Jenny screamed, and her textbook dropped to the floor. She stood up and tremblingly said, “Teacher, I don’t want to sit by the balcony door, I want to move my seat.” She lifted her chair.
“Come on, you sit by me,” I lightly said.
Just as she sat down, another bolt of lightning intruded and again the thunder was sudden. Jenny started to weep, and she covered her ears. She repeatedly said, “I hate thunder.” She sobbingly said, “Let me sit under the desk.” as she dove to the floor.
“Don’t cry, the thunder will stop soon,” I soothingly said.
Jenny sat under the desk and shrank into herself. Again we were shocked by another blast of light and sound. Jenny exclaimed her surprise, “I saw the blue lightning like a ghost. Leave me under the desk, I don’t want to come out.”
(160 words)
“Pull out your wallet.” A group of gang with awkward hair color teased.
Tai knew that he was in deep trouble now. He should not have chosen to walk through this lane just because he wanted to save some time and not to be late to school.
“I… I didn’t bring my wallet with me today…” His voice was trembling, fists tightened into circles. He certainly did not want to give away his wallet. Suddenly, a hard punch went directly on Tai’s stomach.
“You’ve really got some guts huh? You little scum!” A green hair guy grasped on Tai’s hair and pulled his head up. “If you don’t want to enjoy more pain, you better hand out your money real soon.” Another punch flied directly on Tai’s head.
Tai lied on the floor, speechless and helpless. He knew that if he wants to see tomorrow’s sun, he better do what they said. He quietly took out his wallet, ready to hand over to the gangster.
“Take me home John, I’m tired”
“You just don’t know how to have fun. Relax for 10 more minutes.” he answered. During that time he managed to finish two pitchers of beer, then got up and left the bar.
“Okay now get ready for the best ride of your life woman!” he yelled while swaying towards the car where Meghan was getting impatient.
“What are you talking about, you can barely walk!”
“That’s why I offered you a ride, not a walk haha! It’s all right; you’ll apologize for questioning my skills when I get you home.” Saying this they drove off.
“God! You’re crazy! Stop the car, let’s take a taxi!” She shouted, but few minutes later there was no need for taxi as an ambulance was on its way changing their final destination to a hospital.
140 words
As Mike stepped in, Linda was seated at the dresser, staring at a big flower basket in front of her.
“Congratulations! Your performance was great!” Mike saw Linda reflected in the mirror, and put his hands on her shoulder.
“Thank you, thanks for the flowers!” Linda smiled at him in the mirror.
“I haven’t sent flowers yet. I was going to take you to dinner, and then…”
“Not you?”
“Wow, you have a secret admirer?”
“Then it’s just from a fan.”
“Shall we go now?”
“We’ll have a party later.”
“I thought we could have our own time together. I’ve reserved a table at the French restaurant you always liked.”
“We can go there another time. I have to go with them, everyone’s going.”
“Well, then, when will you have time to get together?”
“I’ll call you tomorrow. Today I will be busy.”
“Okay, I’ll miss you.” Mike sighed.
-149 words-
“What should I wear tonight, I heard he’s coming to the same party?” Ann asked Susan over the phone.
“Well definitely wear something so he’ll be crawling back to you again, you have to look better then his ugly-new girlfriend.” Susan, Ann’s friends of years wanted nothing more then the two to get back together.
“Definitely will.” Although Susan seemed confident to Ann, she knew she had no chance; this ugly-new girl wore all the latest designers, drove the hottest car, and went to the best university in town
Time came when everyone had arrived at the party; Susan and Ann began analyzing her up and down.
“Look at her, she’s so hard to compete with, I can’t even say she looks bad, ugh she has it all.” Susan began whining to Ann.
134 Words
Thats awesome. Did you know you can go on the internet with that mp3. You can also play videos, take videos and pictures. It also has an OLED screen and you can play HD videos on it. I wish i had one." (Jealous)
"He had sweat on his brow as he hid underneath his bed. His heart was beating at 1000 BPM as his parents tried to find him." (Fearful)
"Why would you do that. Do you realize what will happen now. You better hope no one finds out it was you who recked it." ( Foolish)
Mr. Bean was standing alone inside a dim lighted big cold room. Suddenly he heard a refrigerator door closing in the dark corner and saw a man rising from floor with his back towards him.
“Excuse me!” Bean said.
“What are you doing here?” The man asked, holding a long knife towards him, his face hidden in the dark.
“I am a guest, Sir! Locked myself out”, Bean replied avoiding the reflection from knife blade.
“Reception closes at midnight.” The man interrupted, rotating the knife between two fingers of his right hand.
“What should I do now?” shivering Bean asked.
“Call 90 from this phone.” The man replied, putting a big turkey on the table.
Bean just took his cautious third step towards the phone, “Whack!” The blood showered on his face, turkey head spinning on the floor.
“Help!” Bean shouted, running towards the door after he saw the masked face.
(151 words)
Shivers ran down Amanda’s spin as she walked every step home. She had refused her parents to pick her up and decided she would walk home from her friends house. Amanda’s heart raced faster and faster the deeper into the ally she got(Because that was the only way home). As she speed walked she felt foot steps behind her and she felt as if at any point someone was going to grab her from behind. Amanda dug her hand into her purse, as she franticly looked for phone. Amanda turned around to see if anyone was walking behind her, as dips of sweat came down her forehead. Her stomach rumbling and her palms clammy as she dialed her parents number ,just to hear a familiar voice to comfort her.
“Hello, hello “she yelled onto the answering machine as no one had answered her call
“pick up, im almost home”.
Amanda opened the door and closed it behind her and took a deep breath.
-163 words
My friend, Edwin had two computers, one desktop and one laptop. He was always busy and working on his laptop. He was good looking and liked to wear classic suits all the time.
One day, while I was working on a project, he came to me and said, “I have a question about my laptop.” I replied, “Okay, I might be able help you.”
He said “You know that everyone’s computer has different desktop wallpaper, right?” “Well… yes… that’s right” I replied calmly. Then he opened his bag and took out his laptop and said, “I have had this wallpaper on my desktop since I bought my computer and now I'm really bored with it.” “That’s cool, you got to change it, I guess.’’ I said.
Then he gladly asked, “Do I need to go back to the store or contact the manufacturer in order to change my desktop’s wallpaper?”
(150 Words)
There is an uncontrollable battle going on in her head. one part of her wants to eat, but the other part resists eating because she’s afraid that she’ll gain too much weight.
“What do you fear more than anything else?” I asked.
“I’m afraid of putting on pounds than are of nuclear war, cancer, or even losing my parents” she said.
At five feet four inches tall, Jenna weighs a mere 90 pounds!
“ I just don’t want to eat, my biggest concern is that I spent three years trying to lose weight, and by eating I’m going to put it all back on in a month”.
Perhaps I can understand Jenna’s feelings. It may be that I too have wanted to trim down in order to look my best. Certainly, it is not wrong for us to be concerned about our appearance. For Jenna, however, a desire to be thin almost cost her—her life.
Word Count 156
During on my way to Seoul from Pusan by the Kyungbu Highway in 1990, I followed a container trailer for a long time. I made my mind to pass the trailer on the slope way near the Kumgang Park. When my car was passing rear side of container, I found the container approached to my car’s front right corner. Suddenly I braked my car and immediately turned left side. Then I have to turn right side again because there is a median strip. I could avoid hitting accident but next time I found that I couldn’t control my car anymore. After one more left and right turn, my car ran out after breaking highway fence. “Ah! I will die by this kind of accident.” Among my unconsciousness, I heard someone’s shouting. My friend recognized the meaning first and turn off engine. An experienced person was running down with shouting “Turn off the engine.” Fortunately, our car was fallen upon trees on the slope. If my car landed on stone slope, our car will be roll over down the hill with catching fire. He brought us to the nearest hospital. “Thank you very much indeed.”
192 words,
Dec. 8, 2009
Standing in the checkout line at the biggest department store, Shelly still couldn’t decide which dress to give up. She liked both, but could afford only one. A lady walked by, Shelly was so absorbed in her refined makeup and tasteful suit, that she didn’t realize right away it was Jane – her high school classmate.
“Hi, Jane! What are you doing here, shopping? ”
“…Well, we just purchased this store; it’s been very busy to get ready for the Christmas shopping season. …”
Shelly did not hear what else Jane said. All she could think was at school how Jane always had trouble on Report Cards and how she was laughed at because she dressed like a clown… Shelly herself was a straight A student, plus every outfit she wore was perfectly coordinated.
Shelly couldn’t help but ask herself, “What’s wrong? How come Jane got this gorgeous life, but I have to stand in her store worrying about the price of a dress?”
(163 words)
My friend James buys lottery every time he goes to metro town. “Let’s go buy a lottery!” James said to me as we entered the metro town.
“I don’t feel lucky today, why don’t you pick some numbers for me?” he said to me. “Okay, 7, 11, 24, 14…” I blurted out some random numbers to him. “He’s never going to win.” I thought to myself.
Few days later, I got a call from James. “I won! I won the lottery! 35 million dollars!” James shouted like crazy. My jaw dropped, suddenly my mind turned blank and I didn’t know what to say to him. “I should’ve bought a lottery for myself!” I thought to myself as I hit myself on the head. I hung up the phone, and dropped to knees and cried.
Alvin invited friend to play at his house.
“Let’s draw together.” Alvin suggested.
“OK.” Rosy cheered.
While two of them are drawing together and laughed together. Jonnie, Alvin’s brother, entered into the room and threw all their pencils and crayons onto the floor. Jonnie knew exactly that he was not going to be the one to pick them up.
“Alvin.” His father passed by the door “Clean your pencils and crayons on the floor.”
“Jonnie,” Alvin stared at Jonnie “why don’t you clean them up.”
“No.” Jonnie kicked the mess on the floor and run away.
Amy hardly could sleep last night because she was deliriously happy. Ever since she took her first ski lesson a year ago, she wanted to come to Whistler. Finally, she made it just before the Olympic. It’s a perfect day for skiing and Amy couldn’t wait to go up to the top.
Because of her athletic ability, she mastered all kinds of tricks and is ready for any kind of ski slopes (at least she thinks so).
Looking down from the gondola, the village looked ravishingly gorgeous.
She’s been touring around different ski resorts in Montreal where she lives but never ever experienced this long gondola ride.
Soon, No more snow covered roof top from the village, only white trees and skiers on the narrow and steep trails. All of sudden Amy felt dizzy and strange. The joyful excitement has gone; she didn’t want to get off from the gondola. (150 words)
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