Friday, September 19, 2008

Masaru, Genel, Sean and Ken

Place your biography here as a comment by Sunday midnight please.

Read the other biographies and comment before Wednesday's class. Thanks!

Posted by Brad at 9/19/2008 10:58:00 AM

17 comments:

Ken J said...

Who is the eldest man with a kind smile in our class?

Masaru was born in Osaka, Japan in 1939. After five year, his family moved to a village called Shizuoka just under Mountain Fuji to escape air raid in 1944. His rich father donated all their belongings to the emperor. After the war they went broke .His father died by infection of a gunshot. His mother had to take care of whole family and survive the hardship of critical living condition. Mother was playing an important role in his childhood.

After four year he moved to the southern city called Fukuoka and he finished his high school there. An English teacher asked him to adventure the world if he could. He gave him most influences as a young student.

Soon after his graduation, he went to Tokyo and learned “sheet metal” as an apprentice and worked in the construction site ever since. He said “I am the hardest working person in my boss company”.

One day in 1966, he saw an advertisement in the newspaper that Canada government was recruiting people to move to Canada. He applied it. With a good trade and good practice of English in the high school, he passed the interview and finally arrived Vancouver in 1968 and he was 28 and single.

He said “I got a job right after 3 days when I arrived at Canada and joined the construction union since 1968”. In 1972, he was helping most of the Japanese who need to repair their house. A girl called for help to install a window. After six months he married the girl and four years later he became a father in 1976. The responsibility for the family kept me working from 28 to 63 years old. You don’t remember growing old day by day when you got a job to do and a family to care.

“90% of Japanese immigrants came to Canada and went back because they couldn’t find a job and settled down. I am one of the 10% who achieved our personal goal and stayed”, he said. The major accomplishment is to survive the hardship of unionized construction field especially when the business was slow or someone always tried to kick you from the back. He earned 25 years gold pin award and worked until he feel a growing pain inside his body. He decided to retire. All the major constructions in BC like BC Place, BC Stadium, big hotel in downtown and high rise building always had a part of his master work.

In the New Year’s Eve of 2008, an operation in Vancouver hospital was removing cancer from Masaru. He survived again after six months of treatment and painful processes. “My philosophy changed”, he said. “It’s time to do my own thing”. English 12 course, watercolor painting, golfing, computer skills and more…. are waiting to be accomplished.


483 words

September 19, 2008 at 6:59 PM
Brad said...

Hi Ken,

This really captures the many years of Masaru's long life! A couple of places it seems that a sentence should be quoted words from him it seems to me. Also, avoid passive voice in some spots to make sentences tighter. Should be great in its final version.

September 20, 2008 at 8:41 AM
hyunni's place said...

Hi, Ken~~ it's really great to see the piece of Masaru's bio... i felt really happy when he removed cancer,and survived from cancer...^^ i really feel like i know Masaru much closer...^^*

September 20, 2008 at 10:49 AM
Masaru said...

Biography of Ken Ju by Masaru Tanaka September 20th, 2008 2nd draft

Ken Ju was born in a small village called Hualien, Taiwan in 1958. The village was so small, less than 800 inhabitants, that almost everybody knew everybody. He stayed there for six years but he didn’t remember well his hometown except one thing. He clearly remembers first nation people with heavily painted faces coming to trade with the villagers.

Since Ken was the eldest son, his grandparents moved with him to Taipei to obtain better education for him. From 1964 till 1977, he stayed there and finished high school. During those 14 years, his grandmother took care of him so much that he never missed his hometown. He still appreciates her devotion to him. After taking a provincial exam, Ken went to university to master a degree in economics. He left Taipei for four years by himself.

From 1981 to 1983, he served military service which was mandatory in Taiwan. By taking an I.Q. test, he became a lieutenant commander of 50 soldiers. Those two years gave him a unique experience in his life. Physically he did a lot of exercise, but mentally he scared of being brain washed by military life. He always felt that he was wasting his precious time.

From 1984 to 1987, he worked for big companies as a sales person. At the age of 29, he acquainted with a girl through his friend’s wife and married her in 1985.One year later, they had a daughter, and a son came six years after. Influenced by his uncle who operated a big business, Ken started his own company in 1988; selling computers and teaching how to use them. The business was successful. He worked hard and studied a lot to catch up with the progress of modern technology until 1996.

Being forced by the political collapse in Taiwan, he turned his face to the new world; to immigrate to Canada. He had knowledge of how life in Canada was through his international trading business. Although he lived in a fashionable suburb near Taipei, he never felt easy about the big city; too many cars, too many people and polluted air. He easily obtained visa because of his good educational background and success in business. On April 26th, 1996, he moved to Vancouver. Soon after, he bought a townhouse near by the corner of Canada Way and Burris St. in Burnaby.

The beginning of four years in the new world, he spent all his time with his family. After spending part of his saving money in that time, he found a job as a warehouse worker in 2001. It is not a quite ideal job for him but he realizes that as a landed immigrant, he has to start new life from the ground level. He has been working steady since that time. He works in afternoon shift so he can attend P.A.L.C. in the morning. He has been keep going to the school for nine years, not because he seek a better job, but because to master English and to acquire more knowledge about anything.

Ken has a heart of gold. He is a gentleman and scholar. I am glad of knowing him as a class mate in English 12.

(532 words)

September 21, 2008 at 7:29 AM
Brad said...

Masaru: An effective piece to bring us a closer view of Ken. I'd suggest your final draft be "tightened" by 30 to 40 words. For example, "Ken Ju was born in Hualien, Taiwan, a village so small (fewer than 800 people) that almost everybody knew everybody."—20 words; saving 7

September 21, 2008 at 1:09 PM
hyunni's place said...

Hi, Masaru~~ nice bio on ken, have very effective adjectives...^^

September 21, 2008 at 3:19 PM
Genel said...

Genel Labrador
September 22, 2008
50091

Sean Noll’s Biography
One of the greatest compliments a person can receive is being described as having great talents, and literally, Sean Noll is one of those people who have innate abilities. Sean Noll was born on January 21, 1989, in Vancouver, Canada but was raised up by his parents in Burnaby. He is the only child of Cowod Noll, a marketing analyst of Irish descent and Beverly Babcook, an elementary teacher of English descent.

At the age of 5, Sean attended Armstrong elementary school. During his childhood days, Sean developed a great interest in nature as he was very amazed of the vastness of trees within the area that time. As curiosity kicked in, a very normal attitude to a growing child, Sean was always very eager in climbing trees of 20 to 30 feet in height. Sean was also engaged in many sports activities. His early years as elementary student, was spent in playing soccer. By grade 6 he was engaged in doing horseback riding. Later he joined the water polo team at grade 7. As he commenced his high school year, Sean’s interest in sports increased more.

Entering high school was not that difficult for Sean compared to other students because of his friends’ company. Sean continued playing water polo, but switched to rugby in grade 9. Playing rugby can be described as his first competitive sport. His team was able to compete in the district level, but sadly, lost to Capilano School. The following year, Sean again changed sport, for the last time, from rugby to rowing. Rowing was the longest sport he participated in. He delineate the training to be “very difficult and painful” as they practice four times a week from Rocky Point to Deep Cove, which is about 20 km. Seconds before the game started, everybody was a bit nervous yet excited at the same time. The pressure throughout the game was quite intense but through their perseverance and hard work they were able to snatch the gold medal in sweep rowing.

Throughout the duration of his high school life, Sean Noll can be considered as a very passionate student, in terms of learning new things. He was very outspoken in every class and ready to share information. His computer became the most important object in his life as it gave him tremendous help. Sean’s father became the most influential person in his life. He enjoyed his father’s company and always took consideration to all his admonitions. Moreover, he even partook in a play and became the lead character, John Proctor, in the novel The Crucible. Sean recognized his being a lead character as one of the major accomplishments in his life. Sean believed that the play gave him an insight about the human mind set. As a result, Sean became increasingly interested in Psychology. However, his activeness in academic matter began to dwindle away. The death of his friend had affected him dramatically and caused him to take a break. As a result of this, Sean was not able to graduate.

Today, Sean is taking English 12 in Pearson Adult Learning Centre. After he finish upgrading, Sean is planning to take Psychology courses in university to further increase his knowledge and looking forward to become a very successful Psychologist someday. Throughout these years he still does not forget all his childhood experiences. As long as the school bell continues to ring and be heard from Sean’s house, precious memories will remain and be remembered

September 22, 2008 at 7:37 PM
Sean said...

Genel Labrador

This is the brief and general account of the life of Genel Labrador aged 19. Genel was born on March 25th, 1989 in the small town of San Narciso. San Narciso is located in the northern Philippines There he lived with his mother Angelita Labrador and his siblings, Nean and Kevin in a bungalow house near an active volcano. When Genel was two years old tragedy struck, in July of 1991 the volcano erupted blanketing San Narciso in ash making the town uninhabitable. Luckily the family was fairly well off and was able to evacuate to the city of Manila near the coast.

“It was very polluted, very polluted.” Genel emphasized, “We couldn’t go swimming in the water, it was unhealthy.” Although Genel couldn’t tell me too much about Manila other than it was polluted and extremely hot, making the air conditioned malls common in Manila the place to be. He could tell me a bit about his family. His father Nelson Labrador worked in Saudi Arabia as an engineer for shipyards, because of this Genel only got to see him a few times a year. Genel remembers with a glint in his eye one morning when his father had returned home, that he had run into his father’s room to find him there with a brand new pair of Nike shoes for Genel. This was a grand gift, as Genel was very much into playing Volleyball, Basketball, and a version of California Kickball in the streets of Manila with the other children. Genel also remembers fondly playing basketball with his younger brother Kevin, whom he describes as quiet and a deep thinker. Along with his older sister Nean who loved to nag the two of them and make them play school. Genel unfortunately doesn’t remember whether or not his sister was any good at teaching the lessons, he does however remember with dissatisfaction being made sit still for so long. When asked about the schools in the Philippines Genel remembers that they handed out quite a bit of work. Much more work comparatively than the schools here in Canada, to which the family moved seeking more opportunities.

Genel moved to Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada in his grade eight year of high school. He went briefly to Burnaby Central High School for some orientation on what his schooling would look like from that point on. This period lasted roughly three months. The rest of his high school would be taken at Burnaby South where he quickly found out where to apply to the volleyball team. He made the varsity team in his first year, the youngest player on the team. Genel felt this was quite an accomplishment, and I’d thoroughly agree. This was not to be his last volleyball accomplishment, in his grade 12 year Genel was voted most valuable player on his school team, an amazing achievement. Genel finished off his high schooling at Burnaby South. Genel is taking this course to upgrade his mark in English, hoping one day to become a nurse. I think Genel definitely has the capability to do whatever it is he desires, as long as he keeps the sportsman’s passion that is obviously in him alive. I wish him good luck in the future, though I know he needs it not.

By: Sean Noll

September 22, 2008 at 11:43 PM
Sean said...

Masaru, I really felt you dedicated just the right ammount of time to each chapter in Ken's life. You went into enough detail to keep me interested, without putting in too much, which might cause me to lose interest. Also, your use of transitional sentences is impressive. I look forward to reading more of your work in future.

September 22, 2008 at 11:49 PM
Masaru said...

Hello Sean
Your writing about Genel amused me very much. Well described in details of his hometown and his enthusiasm in basketball. Although it was a half century ago, you remind me the time I used to play basketball in my high school. Somebody said it is more difficult to write biographies of young people than those of old ones because of lack of experiences or history. I don’t think so. Everybody has his own unique experience. When you try to tell the readers about it in detail, sometime 500 words are not enough. Well done Sean. Just one suggestion if you don’t mind. Can you separate 2nd paragraph into two or three; how Manila was, his family and school life? Also I would like to know more about Genel’s target to be a nurse in separate paragraph if you can. Shot paragraphs easy to trace time line even he is 19 years young.

By the way, thank you for your response to my writing. Your nice comment encourages me to study English harder. See you in the class.

September 23, 2008 at 8:12 AM
Brad said...

Hi Sean,

Nice to see you here! Rich detail is a big improvement over your first draft! I agree with Masaru that the bio could have even three or four further paragraphs. Also, check each comma in the piece to see what it is doing. Sometimes commas here are replacing periods or are missing a conjunction to make them work as they should.

September 23, 2008 at 8:22 AM
hyunni's place said...

hi, sean... nice bio on genel, great adjectives and very effective...^^*

September 23, 2008 at 2:09 PM
Genel said...

Sean: I really like the way you outlined every details even though the infos I gave you were not that many.
Your description in everything really gave me vivid pictures in my mind about my past, especially about my sister. ( I literally paused for some minutes and reminisced the past. :> )GOOD JOB!!

Also you have a very encouraging closing remarks and I thank you in that.I hope to read more of your writing.

September 23, 2008 at 11:10 PM
Ken J said...

"We are the world." People from different countries meet at one classroom. What a wonderful world we are? It is good to know everyone
by writing biography. It's a new starting of Eng. 12. Thanks everyone in the class and Brad.

September 24, 2008 at 12:38 AM
Ken J said...

Genel:

nice describing of Sean. Good details on sports. Your writing is good. It is a good example for me to do my final draft.

September 24, 2008 at 1:09 AM
Ken J said...

Sean:

You did bring a vivid image of Genel to my sight. The paragraph is too long for the reader. Also, both of you did not have the word counts show at the end of your writing.

September 24, 2008 at 1:16 AM
Brad said...

Hi Genel: Your word count is 651, so in your final copy you need to find a way to lose 100 words without omitting anything too important. Good luck!

September 26, 2008 at 3:04 PM

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