Describing a Person (Based on "A Little While" by Edwidge Danticat)
Using what you have learned about good writing
today, write a short character description of a person you know (do not
identify them by name; if you need to use a name, make one up). Write about 100
to 150 words. Use some dialogue. Feel free to use a structure used by Danticat
as your guide. Bring your copy, word processed, to class on October 3.
NOTE: Download a copy of the Grade 11 class annotations in document form. We did this together and, I'm sorry to say, that would have worked better than the approach I used this morning. Always something new to learn!
31 comments:
Some sample quotations from class today:
It makes me laugh when Edwidge Danticat suggests that, after the earthquake, “Maxo would pop up behind Anderson Cooper.”
I can’t imagine what kind of people would say “That’s life” after an experience like that.
Edwidge Danticat shows us that there could be some consolation in the middle of the tragedy: “At least [Maxo] would not go into a mass grave.”
It was unique and interesting to hear a voice described as a blend of “shouting and laughter.”
When Jim was a teen-ager, he shot an arrow into the air. He did that in town. His actions amused me when I first heard about his exploit; that is, until I heard that he had shot the arrow a bit less than straight up into the air and had had absolutely no idea where it would come down.
Not long after that Jim took up motorcycling and, being a bit of a daredevil, he rode fast down a local highway. The rock he hit was small but it sent him sideways down the shoulder and scared him badly. He’d often say, “I love being on a bike but not enough to die for the privilege!”
Jim was a good friend. He came by for a quick visit, often without much warning, simply by saying “Jim here. You guys around?” It was always a pleasure to see him because it was unplanned, and I would surely get the best and latest news from our large group of friends.
—168 words
She was a perfectionist. Her house was clean, and nicely organized. She dusted off all furniture every morning, and vacuumed a carpet floor several times a day. The clothes were hung in the closet in order like a showroom in the mall, and all dishes were set up clearly in the cupboard. The cutlets were never mix and match, too.
"I like house work,” she said proudly, “This is my job.” Her garden was also lively with a green thumb, and she never neglected dead plants in her garden. Sometimes she sat on the folding chair for a rest after tireless gardening for some hours, and said, “So good!”
To be a nutritionist, she served fresh fruits, organic vegetables from her backyard, and home-made herb tea every day for her family. For her child, protested against eating vegetables, she mulled over cooking tricks to hide vegetables. She was an absolute homemaker.
- 151 words
My friend Fiona, who is from Kenya, delivered seven children between the ages of 14 and 27. Although she lived a luxurious and wealthy life including possessing a huge house, and a few maids, she was not happy about being abused by her husband.
Fiona was a brave person. In 2007, she decided to take her children and leave her luxurious life in Kenya for a new life in Canada. She had to choose a refugee status to enter Canada and it was not easy to settle in Canada with seven children. She says, “Sometimes I wonder whether I made a wise decision in leaving my home country.”
Currently, she is working as a care aid in a care home. She often expresses how much she enjoys working with the seniors: “Working with the seniors makes me humble because I know that someday I will be an elderly person like them whether I have money or not.” She is learning humility in a new country.
-165 words
My grandmother was born ninety years ago in a small village by the Italy and France border and she has died few years ago. I remember a wonderful party I went to when I was a young girl. As far as I remember it was to celebrate the retirement of my favorite grandmother. She had reached the edge of sixty five and the engineering company for which she had worked over the last forty five years organized a party in a Italian restaurant to mark her retirement. She was sixty five years old and had a lot of love for all of her family and her friends. She was a stocky, robust woman with a blonde hair, blue eyes, gentle voice like you never heard before. Her smile was soothing and her hugs were healing. This woman had given birth to five children and worked very hard all her life. The celebration was attended by many people. A lot of them were her work colleagues, as well as family and friends. Everyone was extremely happy especially my grandmother, who had a wonderful smile on her face throughout the night .
“Let’s dance ! Let’s dance !”she said to me. Her dance was funny and melancholic like a white swan.
“Come on ! Let’s dance!” she implored us. She was a kind and nice person.
Some of great people or small potatoes made an image deeply in our memorable. My elementary school’s principal was one of them, he was a Christian. He set up a five-room school in 1965 in Hong Kong. He responded all the courses with two teachers. Every day, Lunch boxes had been prepared for all the students. Those students were from impoverished family…no lunch box, no allowance, no exercise books even a pencil. All of us seemed as his children. We did not need to buy any necessity in school. For him, simply by saying, “You know I love you. I love you. I love you.” After school, he must stand in front of the school and said.” Remember to do your homework.” We said” Thank You!” Even after a long time, His face still stays in my mind. He was my statue, a great people in my whole life.—149 words
Maryan abdi
“a little while”
He was raised in surrey. Born in the core of Vegas he was use to the gang life..The kids around him they tried to act like gangsters and thugs. They tried to intimidate him. “They’re tryna act like their bad but for real they wouldn’t last and hour in the hood, they’d be crying to come back home;” to him they were all jokes who didn’t get the outcomes of living in poverty. He’s entire life he’s bin moved from school to school state to Canada. He filled the void of friendship with BMX riding and listening to music. He always listens to Tupac loud in his car. “If you can’t feel the music through the speakers then there’s no point in listening to it at all.” is what he always says. I agree with it. One day i was talking to him about his past love he’s said “i treated her with respect I gave her my trust and she treated me like dirt. ‘’. I could feel the silence of his heart.i could feel how hard it was for him to talk about it. I almost cried. He was so caring, unique trustworthy, I’ve never met anyone like him but then again he’s just an “ordinary guy.” He always says.
My uncle is a wonderful person. Despite being a simple man, he is cheerful, affectionate, honest, loves life and enjoys it. He is a man of a medium build. His eyes are brown and his hair is brown. He is my favourite uncle. He worked as a sailor but is now retired. He and his wife, took care of me for a while when my parents had problems because of a war that was going on in my country. I remember him being courteous and thoughtful with his wife, and daughters. He always treated me like a daughter. During our conversations over the phone, he keeps asking me “when are you going to come back at least to visit?” when I tell him next year, he says, “I don’t believe you”. It has been nearly 20 years now that I haven’t seen him. But I always remember, love and miss him.
-151 words
Maria is a wonderful daycare teacher. She not only has a wide knowledge of teaching young children, but also applies to it. Her passions for caring young children move many parents.
When Maria teaches the alphabet to her “children”, her smile and musical voice grabs her little students’ attention to listen to her and repeat after her. She knows her students’ behavior and keeps an eye on whoever needs extra help. Also, she creates different activities to let the children to learn and to explore. In addition, she treats every child with respect regardless their background.
Children love Maria, too. In the morning, when they come to the daycare, they cry, “Maria, Maria.” At the afternoon, when their parents come to pick them up, some do not want to go home.
Maria loves to say, “Love the children from the heart; teach them value right from start.” She lives up as she means.
(155 words)
She was born in Kabul, Afghanistan.
Growing up in a narrowed minded society, and in a country where war is still a big factor for people being uneducated and jobless, she made her way through and became successful.
She focused on her studies, getting a career started, and building a small family. Her experience was mostly gained from being a teacher in a complicated country like Afghanistan. Every day she had to face a new challenge.
Losing her older brother was the most unpleasant experience in her life, but she says today “life is never fair.”
She is my role model, and I gained a lot from her.
Day by day she proceeds with the same method by teaching her children how to be successful in life, how to respect their elders, and how to keep the ball rolling doesn’t matter how much we struggle in life. She says “if you want respect, then be respectful.”
She always will be the best part in my life.
-166 words
I hug and bow down to you every morning, because I know I don’t have you for too long. I make every waking moment I have with you a memory to last even if it is a good or bad one .You took the responsibility of washing dishes the entire day and I couldn’t stand to see it any longer, so I made it my duty. Three strokes, angina, high blood pressure, diabetes and leukemia are the diseases you have. They are all life taking illnesses and I dread they take you away from me one day but they haven’t. I think of you as a god and I know that there is a lord before you that gets that title, but I have never seen or met this divine being.
- 131 Words
Brian and I are very good friends. We shared a lot of thoughts together and dreamed about what kind future we were going to have in 10 years. He said he wants to have his own business and hopefully can make a lot of money. He's an individualist and doesn't like working for anybody other than himself. I laughed at him because life is not nearly as easy as he thinks, especially with his type of personality. In general, he talks more than he does. In another words, he is a daydreamer.
Ten years later, he's still not “the boss”. In fact, he's working at the same boring job. He is not happy and most of the time is jealous of his friends who are very successful in their jobs. But he always says, “I will have my turn, one day I will be one of them.”
“Then you should make a change now,” I said to him. As a good friend, I do not want to hurt him with the crude reality. But I hope one day he can understand, dreams are not good enough to be successful.
---189 Words
Shinayishi is a nice lady. She was a volunteer being my Japanese teacher during the years when I was living in Japan. She is kind and amiable. She was so happy every time when I made progress, even a little, in speaking Japanese. When I encountered difficulties, she always encouraged me, “Don’t give up. You can do it!”
She is a very hospitable person. She often invited friends to her clean and cozy home where on the wall of living room there hanged many paintings painted by her husband. I clearly remember a BBQ party in her backyard in a summer. She prepared a lot of tasty food and fresh vegetables picked from her own garden. “They are the most organic food!” she told us proudly.
She is a good friend. Even though so many years have passed after I left Japan, I still receive her card for the New Year. Her words, even a simple “Hello”, always touch me. I know she is there, in my heart.
--168words
Describing A Person
My Grandpa was an incredible man.
He worked in the navy. One thing he would always say to me was, “I fought in the war so you would have a right to vote”. I'm not sure if that was true, but I did not argue with him.
He was generous and loving. He was always there to help me, even though it came with a lecture. He loved to give things away to people in need, even if he still needed it.
He commanded respect. He was the king of Ladner. ( a nickname my mom and I gave him). Everyone knew his name and didn't ask questions when he needed something.
My Grandpa died at the age of 82 from Cancer. He was my hero and the only real man in my life I could count on. He made an impression to everyone he met. At his funeral, people from all over Lander came to say their goodbyes.
My Grandpa was a great man, whom I love and miss everyday. But I do believe he is watching over me and my family.
186 words
A Jack-of-all-trades
40 years ago, he made a table lamp by himself and developed films at home.
Once the washing machine didn’t work. He brought some parts and fixed it in
two days. When he saw the shoe cabinet was full, he made another one. “Why
waste money if I can do it,” he’d say with achievement.
Now, he is a favorite grandpa. When his granddaughter was a baby, she always
kicked off her quilt during the nights. He sewed a cotton vest for her to wear
when she slept, which was long enough to cover her from shoulders to foot. His
grandchildren love to stay with him because they love to eat grandpa’s noodle
with beef and tomato soup and rainbow rice. Moreover, whatever problems their
toys have, grandpa can fix them.
He was an engineer before retirement. He always says, “Engineers are jacks-of-
all-trades.” I believe it is true.
When John was still a high school student, he used to sleep during lunch times a lot. I paid extra attention to him as he was the only one sleeping while all others are chatting and having fun. After his nap, he seemed very energetic and concentrated on his study.
We soon became good friends because of our common habits. Not long after, I found out that he loved to watch anime. This interests me and I asked him for reasons. According to his saying,” By watching anime and thinking yourself as the protagonists, you may experience what u are not able to encounter before.”
John welcomed his friends. He just simply texted” Today afternoon, party at my place,” and people would join him if they have free time. My times with him were always special and memorable.
-137
I was traveling when my friend Ming called me for an appointment with his boss, Ting Li. While I stood in front of his company’s building, a thirty-five years old man got off a black Benz and hurried toward the door. He paused when he passed by me, then he turned back quickly.
“Hi, are you Yin?” he smiled before I reply. “Ting, Ming’s boss. I have seen your picture showed by Ming.”
Ting was 175 cm tall with a business bag in his hand. His lively eyes were bright and shiny fitting his square glossy face perfectly. His butch haircut was dense black. His cleaning white shirt set off the blue and purple tire. His luminous black shoes were half covered under his dark blue trousers. I followed him into his large highly decorative office. There was a plaque behind his swivel chair: “Excellence in work is possible only with diligence.”
-157 words
Katie was a great housewife. She wakes up before the day breaks; her kitchen is ever organized and neat at all times. Her big brown eyes, her straight nose and her innocent face always reminds me of her. The wide smile on her face reflects her inner personality to the surrounding environment.
She owns a little farm filled with fruits and vegetables. Looking after them and watering them was her daily duty. She says,” life is ones. Live it and pass it on”. The fresh vegetables and fruits were eye catching and passing by was always a temptation for every innocent person.
Christmas was her best season. The outdoor dim lights, the decoration around her window notifies it’s time to celebrate. But what life bring is unpredictable Katie passed away to unite with her ancestors. “It is”. . . .”That’s what it is. And life, like death lasts only yon ti moman.”Only a little while.” Says Danticat.
-157 words
William was nuts. Everything about him was unusual, weird, and unexpected. He would do the craziest things such as dancing in the streets, wearing a propeller hat, walking half naked in the street in winter, talking about false and true events on his life; and yet, still be amazing.
Sometimes, William would tell about a woman he left years ago and from whom he got children he never saw. With great pain, regret and an everlasting and vibrant sadness in his voice, he would say “I will never find her again, and my children too; they are now dead.” No one would really understand, but often someone would say”Will, I am sure they are alive” .To what, William would always reply “No, they aren’t.”
William was an artist and an inspirational character. We would spend so many hours correcting my poetry, endless night talking about literature I would often imagine myself a genius under the care of a great master, who never achieved his potential because of his procrastination.
-169 words
My friend Jason lost his parents in a car accident at an early age. I absolutely had no idea what he will do but he didn’t give up hope. He was not left with a choice to continue his studies full time so he worked hard in a factory and also gave tuition to students after evening class to earn a decent living. I never thought he would be a responsible guy at the age of seventeen.
He’d often say, “I love to live a care free life but I can’t afford it.” Sometimes he felt so lonely and depressed because he missed his parents.
Jason often came to visit my house. He liked to stay up late on some weekends at my place and chat with me. He’d often say “it’s my only pleasure to spend time with you after a tiring week.” I would surely happy to see him around.
152 words
My friend Raymond is one of my best friends; I have known him for ten years. One thing I will never forget about him is that we were born only 18 days apart. I will always remember the one time we went fishing together one summer with two girls on a boat, and all of a sudden, he threw up on one of them.
Coincidently, we went snowboarding with the same girls one winter and he crashed into the same one threw up on and she was thrown into a tree. They were both lucky that day because they both did not end up getting hurt. I talk about these things because he was a good friend to spend time with and it would always end up in a funny story.
I wish I could still do different things with him but, unfortunately, he has been living in Korea for the last three years. But I know when I see him again; we will have many interesting stories to share with each other.
-175 words-
My Inspiration
As a young adult, my grandmother was stricken with polio. She lived the rest of her life in a wheelchair. She passed away in the hospital, late summer of 2003, she was 83.
My grandmother was very artistic in many ways. Her poetry is what I remember the most. She became on award winning, published poet. The words that she could weave were magical. She inspired me to write poetry; and this is where our bond began.
I remember a visit I had with her and my two girls. I was sitting at her bedside listening to her read her own poetry. From out of nowhere, with a tear in her eye, grandmother said, “I wish I could walk, so I could play with my grandchildren.” The room went silent. “You know Veronica, you are the only one who comes to visit me the most”, she said. That surprised me. She continues, “You have a very special place in my heart”. I was speechless.
All who knew Gerry would agree that he was a crazy kid that lived life on the edge. He exuded confidence, perhaps to the point where he was a little too cocky.
Many of his weekends were spent at his family’s cabin in Gull Lake, Alberta riding his all-terrain vehicle at reckless speeds throughout the beaches and trails. Periodically he would be chased by the police in the middle of the night for crossing highways and roads to get to his favourite spots. I remember him bragging, “RCMP in French is GRC; or as I call them Gerry’s Racing Companion!”
He may not have been the best influence in my parent’s eyes, but he sure was fun to go out on adventures with. I think of him often and wonder what troubles we could get into if he hadn’t drowned almost 20 years ago in that same lake.
(148 Words)
He is a thinking man, always dressed modestly, full of energy, and tries to cheer others up whenever he can. Strong willed with a strong back, he escaped from the tyranny of communism. However, things never really settled down, so his lifestyle became like the travelling gypsies, where he couldn’t stay put for more than 3 years. Sometimes he still reminisces about the past, about how life was better then. He said to me: “Work smart, not hard. You must think like a chess player, looking 5, 6, 7 moves in advance. If you work hard now, you can play hard in the future.” When given the choice between helping a person, or listening to management, he would take the former. Whenever neighbors pass by, they would always greet him and wish him well. He isn’t a perfect person, but he did whatever he could. That is who my father is.
151 words
When Ana was four-years old, she climbed up the tree in her backyard to get the frightened kitten. It was her birthday party and she disappeared; surprisingly, she came up with a small white kitten holding gently in her hands. And, I was amazed to hear that how she rescued a little kitten.
At the age of five, she joined a swimming club. Three years later, she was racing against ten-years-old swimmers. Unfortunately, she broke her leg just a day before competition, but she said, “I am more than ready for tomorrow.”
Ana is my best friend. She has eight-years experience as a competitive swimmer, and worked as a teacher in a local school district. She often shows her feeling, simply by saying “I live for swimming and love every minute of helping someone learn to enjoy the water safely” it is always a pleasure to learn something from her.
---150 words
She was the most influential women I have ever seen. She was born early in Iraq in the 20th century. At that time the women had a very limited freedom in that society. They used to stay at home do all the house work, washing clothes, prepare the food, and take care about the children. But in her case it was different she learned how to read and write Arabic which is her mother language and Persian as a second language in a very young age. In her mid-20 she used to teach women and children how to read and write Arabic in her house. After that when she got married and had children she stopped the teaching and she start to write poetry and learning basics of math and English.
I remember when I was about 10 or 12 years old she use to give me some history book to read, which she found interesting unfortunately I did not. She used to tell me “the book is your best friend “.she died in 2007 from a heart attack. I want to tell her I miss u so much grandmother and rest in peace.
-194 words
Shaista, my cousin and best friend. She recently graduated from UBC. She is kind, caring and friendly toward others. She is generous and she gives alms to poor and needy people even if she doesn’t have enough money for herself and she always says, “God is merciful and he will give me even more.” She is very mature of her age, but she acts like a mother by taking care of everything in her household.
She is an incredible cook and able to cook variety of dishes like, Afghani, Chinese, Persian, and Italian. She has a good reputation in her community because of her honesty and trustworthy. Shaista participates in a lot of extracurricular activities. She used to play soccer, volleyball, and tennis.
She is tentative most of the time because she blanks out a lot when she is under pressure. Now, Shaista is in Winnipeg visiting her grandmother. I really miss, she is the only person that I can share my whole secretes with her.
-166 words
I met him two times. I first met him at English learning centre in Seoul, Korea. I greeted to him first, yet he ignored me. He's tall and slim, with dark skin and thick dark hair. Somehow, I met him again at high school in Vancouver. He had a great sense of style, so he always looked well-dressed even in casual clothes. He seemed very outgoing. He was always friendly and loved to have fun. He's got a fantastic sense of humour and he always made people laugh. However, he can be a bit immature at times. For example, when he didn't get what he wanted, he acted childishly and fought with other friends. I'm sure we'll always be close friends. But I still remember, “Hey, I never wanted to meet you again, because you are kind of a nerd or geek.”
-- 142 words
One of my close friends, Zero is one of the most easy going guys I have come to know, even since I had first met him back in high school. Zero has been around for one adventure or another to join in freely (most inspired by my cuiosity) just by calling him up and ask if he is busy within the week.
When I don't have a plan for the day and I know that I can always check up on Zero and we would meet up. Zero would always ask me "what should we do?" and we start with a simple idea like finding a new place to eat or exploring a new area by local transit.
While Zero and I would travel, we would quote funny things that we have seen and go into talks about our future paths, he would even say things like "Hey, you should move into a place with me, I can see you being my roommate clearer than most others that I have met." and I believe that is because we find new places to experience and just being on the same level of being out going which is good to have in a friend.
Ryan Parker
203 words
A Light Grin
Barbie cuts my complain about life and often says, “Your family is healthy. Look at the positive side!”
Her older brother, Joe died on her graduation day of an elementary school. A drunk driver hit Joe with his car in a summer evening. A week ahead the accident, Joe read her a joke book, and they laughed for hours together. She’s an optimist and a family person. When her husband, Andrew had to close his 16-year-old business in October, 2008 because of his lung cancer, her first comment was “Now we can spend more time together.” She took a good care of Andrew until he passed away eight months later.
During Andrew’s funeral service at a church, “at least he doesn’t suffer anymore,” she mentioned. I saw her sorrow through her wet eyes, but strangely sparkling tears looked beautiful under a white sun just like her light grin.
She was born in a country where being a single parent is the most difficult thing to do, but she tried her best.
She raised five children. My three sisters, my brother and I and I know it hadn't been easy for her. She put up with our childish moments, our whining and complaining.
She has put up with believing that it's her responsibility to build us and keep us going even when people are so out to break us and watch us fall. We weren't raised to believe these lies and over statements.
She raised us well and has strongly stood by us when we were at the wrong but felt so miserable, when we cried ourselves to sleep. The most characteristic thing about her is unique sense of humor and to cheer her children up in different situations.
She is the strongest, most amazing person I know and why no one would replace her in my heart. I love her.
[162 Words]
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