Narrative Essay (1st Draft; First 2 Paragraphs)
Post the first two paragraphs of your essay to the comment section for this post, please. Bring a full draft, word processed and double spaced, to class on Wednesday, October 14. Note the word limit of 150 words (so only one paragraph if it is 150 words long).
22 comments:
When you’re young and your at you’re peek, you don’t really think of consequences or the out come of life’s chooses. All we think of is enjoying the moment.
On September 2007 with a click of a button I changed my perception on life. My friend
Karla and I were sitting at work and come down to the conclusion that we both needed a break, and needed to get out of town for a while. So we bought two tickets to El Salvador four months ahead of time. We decided to go away for two months and a half, with out consulting with our parents. December came around and I told my parents I was leaving for sometime and didn’t want to hear it, I wanted to go find “myself”. My mom was so heart broken and my dad acted like he care. I packed my bags and was excited for my new adventure I was going to embark on.
Karla and I arrived in El Salvador at 10pm. I had the privilege to meet Karla’s aunt who was generous to allow me to stay at her place for as long as I liked. I had family in El Salvador, but see I was avoiding them because I was running away from God, so I thought. I was raised in a Godly house with Christian values and morals since my childhood. I wanted to party, drink and do the things I wasn’t allowed to do. I wanted to feel free and go where ever and do what ever, and just not have to report to anyone or get yelled at. I wanted to be the captain of my ship. My family in El Salvador would sustain me from doing these things, so I stayed with Karla and her family for the time being.
By midmorning on the first day, my legs were already tired. I rode past small farms on the north side of the Fraser River, their white fences enclosing lush green spring grass. Chestnut horses grazed and perhaps (although I don’t remember now) looked up, puzzled. It was May 28, 1975 and I’d set out at eight that morning on a bicycle ride that would end in Halifax on August first.
I was headed for Hope and beyond, riding to reach a campground up the canyon from the town. It was nearly twilight, I remember, when I arrived there and, exhausted, put up my tent for the night. The deep diesel roar of trains echoed up and down the Fraser Canyon, freight trains they were, climbing the steep grade slowly all night long. I didn’t sleep much that first night.
One part of the world suffers from injustice and compression while developed or countries around the world have not been aware of their hardships and left them to go through these unaided and accompanied.
As I awoke from a stress less sleep, the bright but gentle rays of the morning sun had just peeked through the rocky mountaintops. I was looking forward to start the day, It felt as though it was going to be a wonderful day. The Desterkhan(eating area on the floor) was surrounded by: brothers and sisters, mothers and their children, and the usual grandpa who would criticize everyone’s actions. This calm and peaceful moment was completely disrupted by the loud screeching sound of a handheld loud speaker.
“Testing testing: one, two, three.” This repeated for a while then it began again”, “Villagers, today after the afternoon prayers you must all gather in the city soccer field. You will witness the consequence of violations of Talibn’s law and disrespect to the rule of the holy Quran. Do not forget, this is crucial for all adults; we will question whoever is not present. That is all”.
Hand held bites dropped back on plates, and surprised eyes were staring to each other. Grandpa raised his senile tremor hands toward the sky_
“Allah, you are able, save the oppressed”.
I was seventeen years old, didn’t know much about responsibilities, and never thought of how hard it was for my parents to raise my siblings and me. That was about to change in the summer of 1995, when my parents decided to go on a vacation to visit India. They told me, to look after everyone at home, to cook for everyone, and to help everyone with their homework since schools were closed. Looking back to that summer, I can still picture the smile on my mother’s face while she was packing her suitcase, as if she was going to visit Rome. My dad took me outside their bedroom and gave me well-written instructions on what needs to be accomplished in the house on daily bases. My dad was always a soft-spoken person, but his voice sounded more like a friend to me on that early morning than a dad.
(150)
While experiencing that miserable fainting spell, I was depressed and panicky. I complained that it is unfair: why, I suffered the pain; why, I would face those conceited doctors. However, after this process, I got a new feeling.
July 3, 2005 is a special day for me. It was the sixth day after I landed in Vancouver as a new immigrant. Sherry (my friend) and I went to Metrotown for shopping. We strolled in the huge shopping mall, passing in and out of those interesting stories. After three hours, I felt tired and said, “I want to sit and drink a cup of coffee.” “Sure, let’s go to the food court” Sherry immediately answered. We drank a coffee at Starbucks. Sherry looked at her watch and said, “It is two clock; I must pick up my son at 2:45.” So, we scurried to the parking lot in the basement.
(149 words)
Bathed in the warm spring sunshine, the Air China plane made a perfect landing at the YVR Airport. It was right on time! As I stepped out the plane and on to the connecting bridge, even through the mixed smell of the old canopy and machine oil, I could sense the cool freshness of the verdant grass around the runway. What a brilliant morning!
Following other passengers I trotted towards the Arrival Lobby. Passing by the little artificial water falls, the murmuring stream sounded just like music to me; and I smiled back to the funny faces of eagles and killer whales carved on the totem poles. I am coming back home, and I couldn’t wait to see my little daughter and kiss her again, after seven full days!
(129 words)
My father was the foundation of my world; he was the backbone of my life. His life thought me how to live; his demise showed me how to face and be strong in the presence of death. His memories continues to enlighten me. His words, wherever I may be, guides me. In him, I draw my strength. He is my hero. I am his number one fan. He is the one who helps me keep up with this ever-changing world. So if there is one person, responsible for who I am, and for turning my life around, it would be him—Melquiades Perez Sr.
—102words
Cold water on my bed woke me up in the morning. I saw my things floating in my room. My bathroom slippers were not at my bedside, where I left them last night. Even if I could find them, where am I going to put my foot on the floor? First time in my life, my mind was bewildered beyond limit.
I always thought about God giving too much to some people, and depriving others.
It was my first hand experience of a real flood - monsoon of 1995 in Sohana (my village). Everybody wanted rain but nobody wanted this much heavy rain. After the elongated dry summer, people prayed to God for rain to save their crops and lives. God listened and poured all the water from the sky in just one night instead of a month.
(138 words)
Did you ever realize how important your home is to you? It is not just when you are away from your home; it is about how you feel when you lose your home. My story is not about homeowners who lost their homes in the recent economy crisis. It is a true story about me.
I was woken by a very strong pitching and a loud noise. In the dark, everything happened so fast that I couldn’t know if it was a dream or something else. I couldn’t get up because the up and down shaking, just like a small thing was stirred in a fry pan. I heard a big, terrifying noise from the deep of the ground, and the noise from the shaking building. I was scared to death and realized it was an earthquake.
-137 words-
I got a phone call at two o'clock in the morning. It was Manu. He asked me if I was sleeping. I told him I was until he phoned me. "Oh", he said. "Since your up what are you gonna bring?" he asked me. I said," I'll probably bring some shirts, shorts, underwear and my hockey gear." He laughed and said,"duhhh." We talked for a bit and then went to bed.
I saw him the next morning at the airport. " Kidha"(whats up) we said to each other. We checked our bags in then went to Tim Hortons. We each ordered a Bagel, I had a French Vanilla, he had a Hot Chocolate. We ate then went past customs to the waiting area to board the plane. We met everyone else there and we started talking and joking around. Finally we were boarding the plane when Manu said," you ready?" I said," ready for what?" He said," you ready to go to Halifax, you ready to win Nationals?" I said," Lets go!"
(160)
It was “for fun”; I took a workshop in the summer of 2008 with my best friend.
It was a Community Social Work workshop, my best friend begged me to go. To me it was a waste of time talking and meeting boring- new people, in whom I had no interest in meeting nor have any of the same interests.
My friend and I sat in the back row, and like what everyone does, watched as other attendees strolled in one by one. My 17-year old mentality at that time wasn’t very open or accepting. I did not have an open mind when I was looking at these people and then looking back at my best friend with an “uh what’s up with that person “face.
126 Words
Once I read about people that cross into your life only once, because they have something important to teach you.
Sometimes, while you are waiting the bus, or drinking a cup of coffee in a cafeteria, you have little chats with people about the time, the weather or small comments about anything. It makes the difference when somebody starts a conversation to give you “a life lesson.”
It was a beautiful shinny day, June 15, this year, and I decided to lunch in the back area of the Science World building. There were only few tables, and I chose one close to the water, with a nice panoramic view of the city of Vancouver. I went there to be alone, so I could study (next day I had Biology 12 tests). After I lunch, I opened my notebook and I began to read when a woman asked me if I could share the table with her. I agreed hopping she did not want to talk and interrupt my concentration.
155 words
I was traveling west from Abidjan, Cote d’Ivoire, enjoying the sights and sounds of this bustling West African city, when my attention was suddenly captured by a dazzling scene. Over a vast area of grassland stretched thousands of pieces of brilliantly colored clothing. What was the reason for this vivid display? My Ivorian friend was happy to enlighten me. It was the work of the Fanico.
It was January 25, 2005; I traveled to Ivory Cost to visit my childhood friend Shade, who I happened to meet again through the internet after years of loosing contact. On our way from the airport I was overwhelmed by the seen just mentioned above. I asked her, “why are all those cloths laying there”? She said, “they are the handwork of the Fanico”.
The Fanico are a group of hardworking laundrymen. From dawn till dusk, hundreds of men and few hardy women make their living washing laundry by hand in the Banco River.
An experience of bad contract
One sunny afternoon in June last year, door bell tell me someone came to my house. In front of the door, a handsome young man stands with smile and want to explain something to me. I think it’ll take time so I invited him to my living room to listen his presentation.
He told me that his name is Duncan Blomfield immigrated from Australia and he is a member of gas services company named ACCESS and come to my house to teach me how to reduce the gas fee. He explained a trend of gas price by using a chart which showing gas price are increasing year by year from 2.5$/Gigajoule in 1998 to 8.29$/GJ in June, 2008. He proposed his company will supply gas for 5 years with a fixed price of 10.98$/GJ if I contract with them.
-144words
“This place is not good for me.” That is what I always told myself.
Born and raised in a family environment of anti-communist belief, I was told the government is not trustworthy; our life is in complete ruin. My grandfather was running a small sweater factory before liberation of China in the 40’. Later on, the communist party took over his factory and he transform from a owner to the warehouse keeper in his own factory; my grandmother changed from the stay at home wife to the accountant for the factory. Both change from boss to the employee of the government (of course they can no longer afford a nanny).
Maybe, that was the influence from my grandparent and my parents, leaving China to find a better place to live has been deeply rooted in blood. So when the time comes at the age of 23, I packed up my luggage...
151 words
"It is wisdom to follow Jesus in broken heart."
I was born from active
participants(follwers) of Jesus Christ.They goes to Church every sunday and bible studying every Friday.
In september,1999,there was a teen who lost his parents.His name is Garbole.He teachs(preaches)the bible in our church where I used to worship once in a three months. He had had nothing but happines and joy. He and my parents wanted me to confess and follow christ;while it was hard for me to leave my friends whom I had had the parties and funs with.
"He who has Christ has peace and joy."is Garbole's everyday verse,which changes my life.
Coming to Canada and working for Arianna TV program, on OMNI Chanel, has changed my life in many ways.
I have to say that since I left my motherland, Afghanistan, I didn’t have chance to go back there. I don’t know if it was my destiny to travel around or my hope. Anyway, I was on my own world. As some other people, I was a person who was quite far from media (News and magazine). I liked to hear just from family or friends what’s going on in the world, but never interested myself -- I did like just to watch movies and listening to music.
On 2006 during a party, among my friends, Parwani, who was the director of Arianna TV in Vancouver, requested me to work as a substitute of the reporter who was going away for while.
-141 words.
Excited, upset, and delight feeling was current mood. I was pregnancy, but I seat a plane to a faraway place—Vancouver tomorrow. I did not know how to face the new place. I was very busy and tired because I packed up everything. This night, I seat soft sofa quietly and looked at black sky, but I did not come into sleeping.
July 15, 2004 was a special day for me. I did not forget this day forever. I remembered my husband and me took six heavy bags to seat fourteen hours plane arriving in Vancouver. I touched my baby in my paunch, and I murmured,” baby, we arrived at a new place.” I breathed fresh air deeply, and I felt a litter disappointment. Because Vancouver is like a big country, but is not a prosperous city.
--137words
What do you think is the most important thing in your life? Money, Fame or power? I think there’s nothing more important than our health. We’ve all probably had some bad days in our lives. For me, I’ve had some worst days, and learned some valuable lessons.
This is what happened to me a few years ago. My friends and I decided to play soccer, but the thing is we had no soccer ball, we had a squishy dodge ball instead. “What’s the difference, let’s just play with the dodge ball!” One of my friend said. “Why not? Let’s play!” I said. There I was playing soccer peacefully with my friends not knowing what’s going to happen next. “Pass me! Pass me!” I yelled. I had the perfect chance to score. I kicked the ball as hard as I could, maybe a bit too hard.
-145words
I remember the day when the sad news of moving to Canada came to me. Until recently I would call it one of the worst days ever.
After long day, full of unfortunate events, I hoped to find some peace at home. Instead the very first thing I heard, after opening the door, was my enthusiastic mother, whose words didn't make me feel any better.
"We finally got the visas so we'll be moving to Canada this year."
"Oh really..." I said, slightly shocked. "When?"
"Well, we have to be there by the end of May."
Though I knew my parents had been looking forward for years to living in that country, I never expected this to actually happen.
It was already February so it meant I had only three months left. I planned to get myself mentally prepared for the change; however it seemed to be rather unfeasible.
150 words
On December 25, 2007 morning, when I opened my eyes, I saw all over the white outside the window. I felt so exciting, at the same time, I was anxious that my baby would be coming on Christmas. I have a big party on that day, so I would prefer to celebrate Christmas with my friends rather than stay in the hospital.
In few days, my husband was also nervous. When he woke up, the first thing he asked me my feeling. In order to attend the party, I answered immediately, “I am better than any day.” Actually, my legs have a little heavy, I could not move so fast; even my stomach sank a little bit, so I need a hand held out. As if my baby understood my intention, he lay quietly in my belly. Even sometimes I did not feel his presence.
When did all of this start happening? Even though I cannot change anything, however, being forgotten by someone that I care so much is still something I could not stand.
Come to think of it, it is not something completely clueless. At first, he forgets some of those little things like textbooks or pencil case. After a while, he cannot recall where the classrooms are for next few blocks. Not until he starts forgetting some common sense in daily life, as I figure out something must have gone wrong.
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