Rewritten Answers for "Caught in a teacher's web"
Please post your rewritten answers for any of the four questions provided to you in your October 3 in-class writing. Give your word count and stay under the maximum count allowed in the original topic. Post answers by 6:00 p.m. on Tuesday, October 14.
17 comments:
Hello, this is my rewritten #3 respond, i hope u like it...^^*
p.s: i cut some sentences, and words to stay under the maximum word count, i hope it's ok...^^*
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(Topic #3)
Mr. Mean
At first, I saw him as the meanest man on earth because he didn’t let me to go to washroom when I tried to. He taught Japanese as a second language. I did my best to please him, and so did everyone else. His name was Kevin Colhane. He had a round face with a beard around his chin. One of the things he ever taught me was ‘Try my best, never give up’ because one day after class, he called me to discuss something. When he called me, he spoke basically that I was passing with an A, but he didn’t want to lie to me, or other teachers in spite of me being “special.” After I heard that comment, I was ready to cry. Since that day, I began to respect him as a teacher, and as a human being.
Words:147.
Question #2: “Caught in a Teachers Web”
Three writing techniques Kevin Bray used in his essay “Caught in a Teachers Web” are the use of literary devices, irony, and symbolism. Bray uses literary devices throughout his essay. An example of this is his use of simile when he notes that many of the students felt as helpless as insects “caught in the sticky silk of s black widow”, in reference to his grade 6 and 7 teacher “spider-man.” After Bray’s embarrassing time in elementary school he was left with distasteful feelings. High school was the opposite, where Bray was encourage positively by a teacher. He wrote a competition winning essay! His teacher told him to write about the weakness of the school system, ironically after his schooling Bray went on to become a teacher himself. Bray noted how students referred to him as the “Dreamcrusher.” This is symbolic to Bray’s elementary school experience and how it affected his life. Everything Bray has learned has translated to his own teaching; he has a solid understanding of reality.
Rewrite of question 3
We called him “The Bandit” after the class. 10 years later, when he became one of the most famous professors teaching in Beijing University, he calls himself the same in many TV interviews or in his books. He taught me Chinese in the first year of my high school. The first time he entered our classroom we thought he was a janitor: his hair was massively standing; his collar was widely opened; his face was burnt by the sunshine with two eyes obviously in different sizes. But we loved him, all of us. He talked everything beyond the class and criticised Chinese education all the time. He could easily quote from any writers as an example to show us and never needed to prepare for his lecture. He asked us to write a journal every weekend, but he never gave any marks. Instead of that, he gave long comments, longer than our journal itself sometimes. It’s was him, motivated many of us indulging in Chinese literature, including me.
168 words
In “Caught in a teacher’s web”, I like how Spider Man entertained the students. Besides his punishments, he still created games or sports for the students to play even thought there weren’t instruments, gym or stadium. He taught the students imagination and creation by “using rulers as sticks and balls of masking tape for pucks” to play hall hockey on their knees. It is also impressive that he taught the students how to curl by “using the empty paint cans filled with frozen water as rocks.” Spider Man’s entertainment wasn't the usual kind of education, but also was about the powerful knowledge in sport. He taught them about hobbies and the enjoyment for the students in the future. So far, Spider Man used nonverbal communication to impress the author to see that he wasn’t always a cruel teacher.
(138 words)
hey, lien...what number were u writing?? u didn't seem to write the number down...^^*
hello...spencer, nice writing~~^^*
The essay “Caught in a teacher’s web” by Kevin Bray is an excellent exposition of the way how teachers can mark our lives and especially affect teacher’s behaviour from generation to generation. Once one of my teachers, Uriel, told me that teachers’ performance is the result of their teachers’ patterns rather than the education received at university. Reflecting on his own experience as a teacher, Bray confesses “I like the idea of a reading box, a quite please to think”. Where did he learn the idea of “a reading box”? He learned it from one of his most unforgettable teachers, “Spider Man”. Additionally, Bray’s Australian teacher method of giving the students free will in the classroom inspired Bray’s own manner “I give them [his students] freedom where I think it might be of benefit”. Probably Bray’s performance is the result of “spider Man” and his Australian teacher’s combination.
148 words
Sorry!I forgot to tell you which question I rewrote. It was number 4 (overall opinion).
Question 4
I could imagine that the author has some struggles for teaching students. “I spend a lot of time with sullen, moody, exuberant, and argumentative teenagers.” This sentence tells that he sometimes gets frustrated or tired dealing with his students. But he has experiences of two opposite teachers and knows that encouraging works better for students. So, it is interesting to see “They will be caught in my web.” he compares himself to “Spider-man” who is not his favorite teacher. That is ironic and surprising, and very humorous. Even though he is like “Spider-man” for his students, he could teach at least “empathy”…., maybe that is he wants to say. I think that doing your best is the most effective solution in any situations, and the author tells that with his experiences as a student and a teacher.
137 words
rewrite question 2
Kevin Bray uses specific and significant events he had experienced rather than using how-to-do-it to express his thoughts to his students’ parents. That makes this article more powerful and attractive.
Also, there’re all short paragraphs. The events go through the article. The mood of it is intense.
The figurative names, like “Mr. Fun Sucker” and “Mr. Dreamcrusher”, are put on himself to emphasize his personality. That gives the readers an easier way to imagine him.
(75 words)
#1
“So live the best you can with what you’ve got” is my favorite example in Mr. bray’s story. I believe that line is the moral of the story. We cannot always have what we want in this life. We cannot choose the people that will come in our way. Everything is beyond our jurisdiction. As Mr. Bray, he did not choose Mr. Spider-man to be his teacher and so did Spider-man not choose him. Nevertheless, who would ever imagine that despite of Mr. Spider-man’s way of teaching, Mr. Bray would learn one of the most important lessons in his life, which is empathy. I really believe that everything happens for a reason. Life is short so whatever we got, “Do the best [we] can”.
words:124
Question 2.
Mr. Bray described one of his teachers as “Spider-Man”. This is a kind of figurative writing. He compared his teacher’s way of teaching is similar to a spider which will set its web and wait till you’re caught. My example is: He is a shark, he smells the chance then he will eat you alive. There is also a variety of sentences structure: simple, compound and complex are carefully arranged in this article. And he intentionally made his paragraph short to grab readers’ attention.
Rewrite of Question #4
I like the structure and development of this essay. Kevin Bray points out his role as a teacher is “the eye in the sky, the maker of rules” in the very beginning. Soon he provides his advice to students: “live the best you can with what you’ve got. In the first few paragraphs he completes his ideas and makes them clear. Then he gives the stories about Spider-Man, and supports his main idea at the same time. For instance, Spider-Man set up compromising hall hockey games, required soccer players with “geeky rubber boots”, and created the “reading box” to torture students. Obviously Spider-Man is the ruler of the class. What poor Bray can do? He learnt empathy. In this way, Bray’s experience convinces me. I believe that this essay may persuade students to do their best, no matter what kinds of teachers they confront. –145 words
Esther, I really enjoyed reading your answer to question 3. Great opening sentence! It hooks the reader right away!
Ayako, nice job at making your opinion clear!
Snowballs Duty.
I am interested in “In the winter…we built snow forts, and Spider-Man would let fly a few snowballs with good aim and intent.” This example reminded me when we, students, flied snowballs toward our some teachers, and they replied. Other than this exercising was our favorite, it broke the boundary between teachers and students for moments, and we- students and some teachers- associated our feelings and joy. This follow was not impotent to us as a new generation in a conservative society eager to protect the old limits.
Esther: You outline a sensitive teacher here. I'm a bit confused about "he didn't want to lie to me" sentence, however.
Spencer: Nice paragraph design with a clear topic. 169 words is significantly over the count, however. As it takes time to write, really a list would have sufficed: Bray uses similes to compare students to insects in a web. (see Teresa's answer)
Beatrice: A truly interesting character, "The Bandit" is effectively brought to life, especially through physical details. His habits come through clearly and thus make it a very effective portrait.
Lien: Yes, it is true that Spider-Man used play well with the students. Bray's example helps to humanize the teacher who, of course, is not without his faults!
Andrea: Your commentary on quotes chosen is quite good here. Be careful, however, to quote accurately as I'm sure it wasn't a "quite please to think"!
Ayako: Try this: "I could imagine Kevin Bray's struggles teaching "sullen, moody, exuberant, and argumentative teenagers," and that he sometimes get frustrated or tired dealing with his students." Good analysis and commentary.
Teresa: Excellent use of paraphrase here. I'd like to see your sample to imitate Bray as well.
Francis: You've learned a lesson from Bray and give the information to me clearly and with good support. Nicely done.
Josephine: A good and succinct version of Question 2. Other students can learn from your example!
Phoebe: Very clearly set out answer here Phoebe. Nice use of the short quotes shows the students how to make better use of another writer's ideas.
Khalil: A beautiful image of another teacher in another place!
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